The highs are usually followed by the lows

I had a great time last night with my family.  It was like "Leave it to Beaver" kind of perfect family fun night.

Today...

- I was frustrated at work because I hate being treated like I'm less than I am (who doesn't?)

- I came home to a bit of grumpiness, which has nothing to do with me, but I still am affected by it

And now my stomach is all knotted with nerves.

EDIT: Okay, things are better now.  But it was almost funny because I had a feeling that today would be bad since last night was so much fun.

And I should be having some good news to share soon (hopefully tomorrow)!

Please don't hurt my feelings

Is there any way to get over being afraid of getting your feelings hurt?

I trust friends and family; I'll let them in.  But whenever a romantic situation starts up, I freak out, not wanting to get too close for fear of being hurt.

Someone pointed out to me that I am a bit more sensitive than the normal person; I feed off of other people's feelings and I easily am affected by things that people say to me and the way they say them.

But I kind of need to get over this if I'm ever going to embark upon (corny, I know) any relationships.

"I'm just a little bit caught in the middle"

I'm not really, but Lenka's "The Show" is such a cute song!  Luckily, it's on the B&N store playlist this month and I get to listen to at work and unashamedly bop along.  And I have half the boys who work in the music department wrapped around my little finger, so whenever I'm working, they play it. :)  Just a little harmless flirting, right?

In other news, I've had a really tough week.  We got our Christmas tree and decorated it, but it was so hard without Minnie this year.  She was such an important member of our family, and I still miss her so so so much.  I actually cried at work a couple times.  Not tears streaming down my face, but having to escape to the break room to calm down.  I didn't realize how much people notice me, until several people, particularly managers, kept coming up to me asking what was wrong.  Although I am usually very cheery, so that was quite a contrast.  And I had a bad hair day Tuesday.

I finally felt happy on Friday though, partly because it was my first day off in awhile, which was a much needed break after three bookfairs this week with millions of children running around creating endless amounts of work and headaches for everyone.  So what did I do?  I bought Britney's album!  It's so much fun.  "Womanizer" of course is super, but "Circus" is definitely my new favorite, with "If U Seek Amy" being close too.  I was confused about what it was trying to say though, so I looked it up and discovered that the title has another meaning if you say it aloud quickly, sort of like that track from the Atonement soundtrack: "Cee, You, and Tea."

Now I need to go work on a new movie marathon that I just created for myself with the wonder that is DVR: The Shop Around the Corner, In the Good Old Summertime, and You've Got Mail.  Everyone knows that that last one is based on the first, but the middle one is the same story too, but a musical!  Therefore, the characters also work in a music store instead of a book store, but I watched a little last night, and I swear, You've Got Mail stole a scene straight from it.

St Andrews

Though I'm not there anymore, I simply had to share this photo when I saw it posted up on my friend's Facebook.  This was where I lived while over there.  My room was on the second floor, the window furthest to the left.  What you don't see is the beautiful St Andrews Bay/North Sea, which is to the far left, and to which the girls next door had a great view.  The girls who live there call themselves the Wardlaw princesses, Wardlaw for the name of that wing of our dorm, and princess since Wardlaw looks so much like a castle.  Perfect for me, huh? :)

The snow never stuck much when I was there, but isn't this lovely?

Garlic bread saved my night :)

So it's been a rough couple days working in the cafe, plus just an extra emotional rollercoaster with the holidays coming up and my dog not being here anymore for them.  But tonight I came home and there were three slices of garlic bread leftover from dinner waiting for me!  That seriously boosted my spirits.

Well, that and the fact that I had a ten minute conversation with blue-eyed boy today, which is quite an accomplishment. :)

Is it okay that I'm oblivious?

This weekend I found out about two people I know that have started dating.  I had no idea and have never seen the signs, though apparently to others, it was quite obvious.  And I never know when someone is interested in me without someone outright telling me, "So-and-so likes you."

Is it okay that I'm so oblivious to these romantic cues?  Is it just my lack of experience?  My lack of really seeking the signs?  Boys and dating have never really been at the top of my priorities, so maybe I just never cared enough to notice these things?

Another friend told me there's nothing wrong with me, that's just how I am and another friend is just like me.  So again, is this okay and if not, how do I learn to read the signs not only when someone is interested in me, but also to pick up on signals when two other people are interested in each other?

Weekend!

This weekend I finally got to visit JMU again.  Even though it was loads of fun, I realized that I'm kind of glad that I'm done with the college thing.

Highlights:

- formal afternoon tea with Courtney at Mrs. Hardesty's Tea Room!  We had been wanting to do that for all of last year and we finally made it.  It was soo delicious.  And we managed to eat everything.  There were so many sandwich choices, cinnamon and chocolate chip scones (with clotted cream!), and seven different types of sweets.  It was everything I could have hoped it to be.

- DG semiformal!  It was great seeing all the girls again, especially my littles and grandlittle.  And I got tons of compliments on my dress, which is always fun. :)  It was really weird too, because I felt like I had never left, yet there were so many people I didn't know.

- breakfast at Sheetz.  Sunday morning was also delish, getting a breakfast sandwich and hash browns from Sheetz with Courtney, coming back to her house, and watching Bridget Jones's Diary.  That pretty much is the ideal circumstance.

Going back actually reenergized me in my job search.  I got three resumes out last night, so hopefully I'll get at least one interview out of them.  I had started feeling complacent in my B&N job, which I do have fun at, but I know at the same time, that I need to look for something else.  I also feel more ready to grow up.  We'll see how long that lasts. :)

Back to Civilization

I just got back from visiting my great aunt in Ohio and it's so nice to see so many cars around.  I could never live in the country.

Anyway, the reason I went up there was to see the old houses and places where my grandma and her family lived and grew up.  It was really cool seeing the houses that my great grandparents grew up in, considering how I'm used to the military life, and haven't been in just one house my whole life.  And to still be living in that same area like my great aunt is?  Wow.

You'd also think that being out in the country is a pretty safe place to be.  Well, we were checking out my aunt's old house, which is way back in the woods.  So we were looking at it when all of a sudden, a shot rang out.  I thought, oh my gosh, this is it.  Accidental death in the woods.  Great.  We eventually realized it was the neighbors having a target practice, and not even in our direction, but omg.  I was SCARED.  Now, my great aunt and her daughter-in-law didn't flinch a bit the six times the shotgun was fired while we were there.  Ugh, I could never live in the country.

Tonight at work, we're having a Halloween themed bookfair.  I haven't dressed up for Halloween since I was twelve.  Wait.  That's a lie.  In college I dressed up twice with my dear friend Meredith.  Since we both have red hair, we always did a twin thing - first, Siamese twins, and then Annie and Hallie from the Lindsay Lohan version of The Parent Trap.  I'm thinking of ideas were I get to wear things that I wouldn't normally wear to work, like sweats or jeans.  Honestly, I would really love to be a character from High School Musical or Giselle from Enchanted, but they only make those costumes for kids.

So that's been my week.  Time to get back to the old, but thankfully busy, Northern Virginia scene.

5 Things on a Wednesday

1) I asked for today off from work because my mom and I were supposed to go to the book signing of a family friend, but it got postponed, so instead, I'm bored.  I wonder if I'll ever have a book signing?

2) Luckily, I'll hopefully be able to finally watch Sunday's Desperate Housewives over at the neighbors' house.  They have DVR - but we will have it soon too!!

3) I am totally obsessed with The Hills right now.  I'm watching the older episodes on MTV.com and the new episodes as they air.  Why are their fake lives so fascinating?  And why do Audrina's expressions always look so vacant?

4) I LOVE Someday My Prince Will Come!  The author, Jerramy Fine, is a wannabe princess, Anglophile, and DG, so we're basically the same person.  I should start wearing my princess tiara everyday...

5) I have a crush. :)  I think OhMyHeart might be excited for this.